A Moment of Gratitude

I want to start this out with an apology...

Life has become busy lately, and I feel bad for not finding enough time to write, so please forgive me.
I also want to apologize to anyone out there reading this that has talked to me in the past month. Lately things have gotten pretty hard and I suppose that I've beaten myself up a little too much... And by me doing so I have cause pain to others.
I can't even begin to say where all these feelings have come from or why they are here, but I don't want them anymore. I don't want to wake up and look in the mirror every morning and wonder why I still exist, or what my purpose truely is. I won't lie, I feel like I've lost the world this month. Friends move on, people stop listening, and then all of a sudden you're stuck with nothing.
So you know what, for the first time in weeks I have finally found something to be greatful for.

When I was about nine or ten years old  I was a dancer. I loved it with a passion! I had an instructor that told me that I was what what she was looking for, that she wanted to teach me everything she knew in hopes that someday I would go far.
Well, that dream need for everyone when I started havin knee problems. It started off small, but still limited the physical things I could do.  It was hard back then knowing that I couldn't follow my dream as far as I wanted, but I guess I got over it.
Many years have passed since then and it has been within the last month that it has given me the most grief. There have been nights where I have been up for hours doing everything I can think of to make it more comfortable, just to be able to go to sleep, and others where it doesn't bother me a bit.
But oh, I can't tell you how greatful I am for it. Maybe not so much the pain, but to still be able to do the things I do. Just last week I ran a 7 minute mile, and I can't tell you the emotion that came over me. I know it's not the best time, but I am still proud if it.

I know I haven't said it lately, or even thought it, but I am proud to be me. I am proud that I am, in many ways, a broken person. I am proud that even though life is hard, I am still here. I am proud that every morning I wake up and keep moving. I am proud that I am strong. I am proud that I breathe. I am proud that I live.

My friends, I love you, and I thank you for all you have done. Please stay strong out there.